they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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