I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
