Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
