Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Don't tell me you're on acid again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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