I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
