I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
