I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
