I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
