Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
