Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think your dad took our porno
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
