I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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