Don't you send me to vm
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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