I'm jealous of your bromance
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
