How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my liver is dry heaving
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
