I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize