Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I could make wine with my vomit
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
