She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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