I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
There are leaves in my underwear?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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