I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
