we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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