During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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