Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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