a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
