You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
