My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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