i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
