He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
