Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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