i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
