4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
