he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
