belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
