So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
