no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
