so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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