Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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