Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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