I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
