i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
