when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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