You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
