I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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