I just cut my nipple shaving
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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