That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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