Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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