addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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