so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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