Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
