Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
