I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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