We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
