God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
