That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They have beer where we have blood.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
